She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize