Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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