I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize