this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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