hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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