I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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