i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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