i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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