Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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