Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

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(972): **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS** http://tfl.nu/fjtm

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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(218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0

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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf

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(562): View more from California

he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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(562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd

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(248): View more from Michigan

Did you just see the Batmobile???

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(248): Did you just see the Batmobile??? http://tfl.nu/vqtz

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

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(615): If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night. http://tfl.nu/85ri

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(330): View more from Ohio

My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for

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(330): My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for http://tfl.nu/h1bq

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation

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(414): Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation http://tfl.nu/xs70

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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(423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy

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(443): View more from Maryland

EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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(443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87

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(804): View more from Virginia

Parents weekend was a success.

(973): View more from New Jersey

Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...

(804): View more from Virginia

Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.

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(804): Parents weekend was a success. (973): Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success... (804): Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9gkg

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"

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(+44): he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest" http://tfl.nu/pc1a

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.

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(814): I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom. http://tfl.nu/k57f

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(801): View more from Utah

Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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(801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu

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(+61): View more from Australia

If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

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(+61): If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that. http://tfl.nu/eyt5

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