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**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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