but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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