4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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