In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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