i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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