I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize