You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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