Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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