I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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