very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize