please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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