I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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