she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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