I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize