she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and she was petting her beer can
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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