you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize