i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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