Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month

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(215): i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month http://tfl.nu/ruzp

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(703): View more from Virginia

She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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(703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.

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(859): Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out. http://tfl.nu/0ttb

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..." http://tfl.nu/9x9f

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(518): View more from New York

plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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(518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.

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(606): Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now. http://tfl.nu/sgsy

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow

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(908): We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow http://tfl.nu/g44q

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(1954): View more from

You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday

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(1954): You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday http://tfl.nu/byqw

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(678): View more from Georgia

Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

(1-678): View more from Georgia

...

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(678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo

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(503): View more from Oregon

She wants to have naked weekends

(541): View more from Oregon

They call that free range vagina in France

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(503): She wants to have naked weekends (541): They call that free range vagina in France http://tfl.nu/sou7

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

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(314): Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love. http://tfl.nu/b9x6

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(845): View more from New York

I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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(845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

That is awesome that you did that.

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(508): I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity (1-508): That is awesome that you did that. http://tfl.nu/1wsl

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.

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(703): I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone. http://tfl.nu/an49

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(843): View more from South Carolina

She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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(843): She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative. http://tfl.nu/fw1n

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