Your tits are I can't wait for
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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