well I can't set my house on fire every night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize