And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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