He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
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How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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