I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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