And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize