Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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