she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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