The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize