Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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