she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize