So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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