he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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