took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
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Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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