I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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