For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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