ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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