sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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