you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize