I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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