you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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