I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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