College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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