Barsexuality is the new black.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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